Okay, the title might seem a little….something, but there is a concrete point to this. Do you spend time being angry or contemptuous or indignant that some girl a) won’t “put out,” b) did at one point “put out” to you but now “puts out” to someone else, or c) seems to “put out” to everyone, regardless of whether or not you are included in that “list”?
Okay, now, how much time do you spend angry, irritated, upset, et cetera about current event-type shtuff, say, Drone Warfare? In case you don’t know, drone warfare refers to the use of unmanned military aircraft mostly by the US along with other nations to ostensibly fight terrorism in countries such as Yemen, Somalia, Pakistan, and Afghanistan, often leading to numerous unaccounted-for civilian deaths.
Here’s a link about “double-tap” drone strikes, where the drone shoots a bunch of people, and then comes back to shoot those who come out to help the people who’ve just been shot. This shit is real.
So, does this make you mad? The Obama campaign has been using drone warfare to wage secretive, undeclared wars in these and other countries, resulting in the deaths of numerous civilians, NGO workers, aid workers, and journalists. For more information, visit this PBS.org primer. If this doesn’t make you all that mad because we’re fighting our enemies over there and some civilian casualties are inevitable and the “cost of war,” does that mean you’d be cool if “they” had drones and used them in your town to defend themselves and “accidentally” killed your entire family, giving them literally no chance to defend themselves “on the battleground”? Would that be fine? Acceptable?
I hope not.
Okay, so why this seeming tangent? The point is, there are ACTUAL injustices and horrors in the world other than how much a girl has sex. In fact, there’s a term for being openly indignant and contemptuous of such girls, and the term is:
In general, slut-shaming refers to people (not just men) making other people (generally used in reference to women) feel bad about themselves or impugning their reputations for deciding that they like sex and who they have sex with. Women who choose to sexualize themselves, (see earlier post, ____), rather than allowing others to do so are often called “slut,” “whore,” “skank,” and other terms, because a woman who takes charge of her own sexuality is seen as not normal. According to traditional gender roles, only men are allowed to “provide” women with a sexual identity, since without men to take care of and fulfill, women would have no purpose. This is why some real pricky guys will use “lesbo” or “dyke” to insult women who don’t show interest in them; because if “she’s not into you, bro,” (i.e. if SHE chooses who has she sex with) she must be different or weird (lesbianism only being “weird,” of course, according to our heteronormative culture) and therefore has no purpose. If you do this, you have a serious problem, by the way.
So, find something else to be mad about besides a woman who enjoys sex. There are plenty of awful and unfair things in this country and in this world: sexism, racism, homophobia, imperialism, high deportation rates, high unemployment, global warming, Monsanto being able to sell untested genetically modified food, the list goes on. Additionally, assume women who enjoy sex enjoy it for what THEY get out of it, not for what they can provide you. Sex is not all about you, bro. It’s a two-way street. If it wasn’t, masturbating would be enough.
And one final note on women using the word “slut” about themselves, e.g. “SlutWalks,” et cetera: this type of social movement is called reappropriation. The purpose of it is to “claim” the word for their own in describing themselves as women who enjoy sex and own their own sexuality, removing the word’s shameful connotations. It does NOT give you the right to use it. Why? Because “slut” has been used by men to hurt women for many many years. That’s pretty much the only way a man can use it, due to its meaning and purpose. Imagine if you were tired of being called a “dick” to mean something bad, and you decided that you were going to use “dick” to describe yourself in a positive context. When you call yourself a “dick,” you know what you mean by it. When anyone else calls you “dick,” or “dickbag,” “dickweed,” et cetera, though, they are trying to label you based on what the word means what it means to the rest of society: something probably negative. Reappropriating words denies people the “right” to label and judge you with a word; rather, you label yourself, and reject societal judgments.
Long story short: If the idea of women who don’t NEED men (of course, they might still WANT and CHOOSE men, voluntarily, if they feel like it) to feel good about themselves bothers you more than Drone Warfare, again I’d say you’ve REALLY got a problem, bro. But that’s what I’m here for.